A few weeks ago, I wrote about hell, agreeing with the hope of Pope Francis that no one is there.

This hit home for lots of readers. I believe it tapped into a need for the reminder of what it means to have a God who loves us unconditionally.

I mentioned in that reflection how being a dad informs my spirituality and theology.

Tonight, unexpectedly, I was presented the opportunity and challenge to explore this concept with my 7-year old, Shea.

She was supposed to be sleeping, but there was the sweet sound of a pitter patter coming down the hall and into the living room. She stood in front of me, rubbing her eyes.

This was our conversation:

Shea: “Dad?”

Me: “Hi, are you ok? I thought you were sleeping.”

Shea: “I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, Shea, what’s up?”

Shea: ‘My art teacher talked about this place, it begins with an “h.” It is where Jesus went after he died to bring people to heaven. It is a word we are not supposed to say. (She starts guessing ‘h’ words).”

Me: “Yes, she is talking about hell. It is a word we don’t usually say.”

Shea: “Yea, my teacher said we can’t use it, like “what the hell is that.”

Me: (laughing), “Yea, we shouldn’t use that word.”

Shea: “But what about Jesus going there. I am confused.”

Me: “Sit down for a minute. Let me tell you a story.” (Saying a quick and silent prayer for the right words to say). “Do you remember what we talked about where people go when they die?”

Shea: “Yes, they go to heaven. But is there another place?”

Me: “Well, yes. The Church teaches there is a place called hell where people go if they don’t live a good life. It is like a punishment.”

Shea: “Will I go to hell?”

(Pause: now, here comes the signature moment that as a parent, I know, will shape my child’s view of God. I can instill the fear of God, or I can attempt something different, something perhaps more meaningful as she grows in her spiritual life?)

Me: “Let me ask you a question. Is there anything I can do as your parent that would make you not want to be with me?”

Shea: “No.” (I know this answer may be different in another 10 years, especially when I become less “amazing” when she is a teenager and finds me less entertaining.)

Me: “Me too. As your dad, there is nothing you could ever do that would keep us separated.”

Shea: (nods in agreement, still with deep concern in her tired eyes).

Me: “The same goes for God. There is nothing we could ever do that would keep us from God and God from us.”

Shea: “But what about hell?”

Me: “Do you know what Pope Francis says? He said that he believes there is a hell but no one is there.”

Shea: “Is that what you believe?”

Me: “Yea, I do. As a dad, I would never want to be separated from you, even if you did really mean things. The same goes for God and how God sees us.”

Shea: “Do you know what sin means?”

Me: “Yes, do you?”

Shea: “It is like a dark line on a piece of paper. When we go to Reconciliation, the line gets erased.”

Me: “That is true. God forgives us. But, let me also explain it this way.” (I take a small toy and put it near her). “God is always with us-nothing you or I can do will make God go away and leave us. But, when we fail to love, we move further away from God and that can make us sad.” (I move the toy away from her but still very much in sight).

Shea: “How do we get closer to God.”

Me: “When we love. And that may mean asking for forgiveness and making things right if we made a mistake by saying sorry if we hurt someone. But as long as we love, God is close to us. And that brings us joy and peace.”

Shea: “That makes us holy.”

Me: “Just remember, whenever you think about God. Think about love. The same love you feel for Mommy (and me). That is love. That is God.”

Shea: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

I share this not for a pat on the back, or to engage in a parenting or theological debate.

I share this because I don’t believe we, as adults, are much different than this 7-year old. We all need the reminder, from time-to-time, who God is to us, and who we are to God.

So often we act out of fear, caught in this reward-and-punishment relationship with our Creator (and with others). We need to go deeper.

God lives within us, as well as within our strangers and neighbors, friends and enemies. If only we could see God and one another for who they are. It would change the world.